My Turn: ; Power, with a Side of Fries and a Coke
Charleston Daily Mail › August 21, 2007
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Summary
In literature, J.R.R. Tolkiens "Lord of the Rings" possessed awesome, supernatural power that corrupted mens souls and threatened to lay waste an entire world. In the comic books, Green Lanterns power ring allows the wearer to fly, generate force fields, fire energy blasts and, depending on the users will power, can be the most powerful weapon in the universe. Mighty as either of these rings might be, I doubt that they possess what Id like to call cheeseburger power the ability to allow the consumption of as many cheeseburgers as one wants. I know of such a ring. It gleams of precious metal and blazes with sparkling gems. It has the power to make men quiver and women weep. To the foolish and the wise it is known as the engagement ring. And I have felt its power. I presented such a ring to a fair maiden and she, in turn, used its force for immediate good. Within hours of receiving it, the maiden, transformed by the ring into The Fiancee, hit me with the first salvo of carbon crystal radiation Zap! a cheeseburger dinner with onion rings and a Miller Lite from Hamburger Joes in Myrtle Beach. It was the perfect send-off for travelers returning home from vacation with my family. Late that night, somewhere in North Carolina, The Fiancee rescued me from the gnawing pangs of hunger with another jolt, this time in the form of a double cheeseburger value meal from McDonalds drive-thru. A medium Coke provided caffeine and sugar to continue on the journey back to West Virginia. Safely in the Mountain State, at the family vacation house on Flat Top Lake, twin bolts struck at lunch and dinner. Grilled cheeseburgers, a third of a pound each Zing! Zow! with a side of Lays potato chips and Pabst Blue Ribbon. My belly served mute, Buddha-like testament to the power of the ring. The Fiancee was serene with this new-found gift. She gazed upon it by sun and dashboard light, marveling at the silvery band and its glittering stones, content that she had yet to tap the true depths of its capacity.
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Extract
My Turn: ; Power, with a Side of Fries and a Coke
During conversations in the car on the way home, Kris...
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